I found this part of the book to be very enjoyable and easy to relate to because of the fact that it focused on knowing yourself, getting to know those around you, and understanding what it means to lead ethically.
Chapter four explained how you need to know your own strengths and weaknesses before you can effectively lead others. It also emphasized the idea that rather than dwelling on our weaknesses, we should focus on our strengths. This is the whole idea behind StrengthsQuest, which is a very helpful tool to give you insight into those amazing qualities that you do have but tend to ignore because you spend so much time thinking about how to improve your not-so-good qualities. I found myself nodding my head at one point during this chapter because I could completely relate to it. When discussing how we can reframe our weaknesses to think of them as strengths, Komives, Lucas, and McMahon said, "you may have felt bad when thinking of your personality as shy and quiet, but you might feel empowered to frame those same characteristics as thoughtful and reflective…" (128). Up until a few months ago, I viewed my shyness as a big problem. You never hear people say positive things about being shy so I had fallen into the mindset that being quiet is a negative thing. When I took my first leadership class last fall though and learned how being quiet can be an advantage (listening to and observing the situation before taking action), I have found myself not focusing on it as much. I know that there are times when it is better to listen and observe and I also know that there are times when I have to speak up, even if I really don’t want to. I don’t dwell on my quietness as much anymore (I still do...just not as much...), which in a strange way has actually made it easier to do things like speak up in class.
I also enjoyed the section in chapter five that talked about how we can understand others when it comes to differences in gender. The chapter explained that women "tend to credit their successes to external factors like luck and being in the right place at the right time...[and] they credit their failures to internal factors like not being prepared or not having the right skills or not having enough time" (KLM 156). Men are completely the opposite--crediting successes to internal factors and failures to external factors. This reminded me of when Laura Liswood said that "women are heat-seeking missiles for the negative" and how we will focus on the one negative comment that we received on an assignment rather than realizing that all of the good things we did outweigh that one negative.
I found chapter six to be the most interesting chapter from this section because it raises a lot of questions about the ethics of leadership. In my other leadership classes, I have seen that ethics forms the core of leadership and that ethics are one of the factors that can really make or break a leader. I thought it was interesting to think about the questions that were posed in the "Practical Applications" section about ethical dilemmas--when right-versus-right collide. Truth versus loyalty is one that I could see coming into play quite frequently in situations where you know it is right to tell the truth, but in telling the truth, you might be betraying someone close to you. "Would you turn one of your siblings or your best friend in to the FBI if you thought he or she was the Unabomber?" (KLM 205). I would like to think that I would...
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It is interesting to me to hear you talk about shyness. Most people do not consider me shy (in the school setting, anyways) but I am also very shy. However, I never equated it to be a bad quality (though, perhaps hindering in making new friends). Nonetheless, I can see where you are coming from. People don't ever point out the positive aspects of being shy. You never hear a person say, "Oh, she's so shy. I wish I could be shy like that!" It is always "outgoing," or something along those lines. I am glad that you were able to start seeing the positive though!
People often do try to see the good in others, but shyness is often taken for granted. I think shy people are often viewed as grouchy or mean, and people often think they do not care. But, if people would take the time to actually learn why that person is not very talkative - they would often learn otherwise. Chapter 5 discusses learning how to not just accept but understand others, which, is essential to overcoming shyness (or at least to manage it better). The authors assert here that we should focus less on the "I" and more on the "you.” To mean this means that, when considering shyness, we would not say “Well, she doesn’t care! If she did she would speak up more!” But, we would consider why that person doesn’t speak up more often, and ask them what they think about the issue. Furthermore, try to think about why that person might not speak-up. Do not just assume they do not care.
Thanks for this!! In the past when I was MUCH more shy than I am now, I did get the "she doesn't care reaction"--especially when working on group projects. People are usually in for a shocker when they see how much I DO care though. It's kind of funny to observe... :)
A lot of people also assume that someone who's quiet is snotty, which is interesting to me. Somehow the fact that you're not speaking as much as everyone else means that you're judging them. It's very weird.
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